News of the Night, 4/15/99

European Artifact Unearthed in Grimes County Dig
 Monday, April  12:  An archeologist in southeast Texas this week uncovered an unusual artifact  during an excavation in eastern Grimes County, a carved bone horn of early north or central European design. Archeologists in Grimes state that the artifact is clearly a hunting horn, and a prominant Grimes historian suggests that the horn may have been brought to America by Cabeza de Vaca, the Spanish explorer who travelled across Texas during early European exploration of the New World.  The was found in a dig site just  outside of Bedias, Texas, and is believed to have once belonged to that tribe.

Grimes Hunting Horn Stolen
Wednesday, April 14:   the hunting horn discovered in Bedias, Texas was stolen Tuesday or early Wednesday.  Grimes County sheriffs' officers are baffled and as yet have no clues to the culprit.  The horn was being shown to reporters and some select individuals late Monday afternoon, and is  believed to have been in the possession of the archaeologists as late as six  o'clock Tuesday after the last crowds had been dispersed.  One Sheriff on the scene was quoted as saying, "I think  it's one of them death cults from them big cities.  You know how folks from  Austin and Houston can get.  And we ain't gonna give in to no terrorists.  We don't do ransoms."

Round Rock woman found dead, Police Baffled.
 Thursday, April 15:  Round Rock police were stunnded to discover 46 year old mother of three, Julia Muire, dead in southeast Austin.  Police describe Muire's condition as a "gross mutilation of the body." She was apparently tied to the hood of her car and allowed to bleed to death.

Police began looking for the mother of three after John Muire, her husband of six years, reported her missing on Thursday night.  She left her house at 7pm, saying that she needed to do some last minute grocery shopping, and would be back by 7:30.  When she had not returned by 10pm, her husband reported her missing.  Police discovered her body in the trunk of  her car in southeast Austin in a parking lot  Friday morning.

Score One for Apathy:
Previously unknown candidate Republican Thomas Freeley was elected District Attorney in a landslide victory, partly due to a backlash against his predecessor (indighted after a child pornography scandal), and partly because his opponent was an empty chair. Freeley has not yet made a public appearance, and may be biding his time until he takes office as part of a publicity campaign.

News of the Weird:
Two scuba divers in Lake Travis claim to have sighted a mermaid in the lake's depths Sunday, April 11. Both divers' oxygen levels were normal, and both appear to be of sound mind--though there is that whole "mermaid" thing. The two became  quirky local celebrities.

Police Blotter:

A survivor of a vigilante attack in South Austin voluntarily turned himself in to the police department Friday, April 9. His attacker, the now-reformer robber says, was a huge thug in league with a local gang lord named "Troy." Troy has been linked to several such "citizen's action" attacks.

A southeast liquor store was robbed Saturday, April 3. Two bystanders apparently tried to assist police in arresting the perpetrators by dropping stink bombs, but they quickly left the store, and have not been ruled out as accomplices. A U-haul was seen leaving the crime. In a highly related event, several assaults at a beach took place with a similer U-Haul truck nearby, and the descriptions of the renter of said truck correspond closely with those seen on the liquor store security monitors...This should be an easy arrest.

Custodian Joe Huxley, an employee at the state capitol, was arrested on charges of drug trafficking Tuesday, April 13. Police and security guards are beginning an investigation of Huxley's possible clientelle.

House Representative Kenneth Jamison (R) and Mental Health, Mental Retardation financial director John Bell literally came to blows arguing over a proposed budget for the 2000 financial year, Wednesday, April 14. The pair physically attacked each other and Bell recieved several lacerations from Jamison's fountain pen, but neither was seriously injured. Both parties are preparing litigation.

Commercial news:
Dell computers announced its intention to switch to AMD processors over Intell processors; several other major companies, including Compaq and Gateway, have also jumped on Dell's bandwagon. Advanced Microdevices has a strong presence in Austin's electronics industry, and Dell's announcement can only spell good things for local technobusiness.

Entertainment news:
The Austin Chronical gave a sparkling review of  the Celtic dance troupe performing at the Paramount  theater Thursday. While still a relatively new group, they've caught the light of the local Celtic scene with choreography designed in part by Riverdance mogul Michael Flatley. The dance troupe will be performing for the next three weekends--contact UTTM ticket centers for more information.

Jacob Williamson 9802-157, ADST Propaganda
With Thanks to Ben Gibbs, Chris Stewart